maya's growing delay

When one becomes pregnant they never think it could go this way.

Right so lets face it, many things happen during before and after a pregnancy and every child is different. The heart burn and morning sickness hormones and food cravings are all apart of the adventure.

My first born was just 9 months old and sure enough we were pregnant again. I am in general a worry wart and so it is very typical for me to constant worry and read things making me worry more.

At 20 weeks we get a very detailed scan in Holland and it turned out that my baby wasn't growing. Obviously the doctors handle me well and I continued to get ultra sounds every 2 weeks. They started to notice a growth but it was just slower than other babies. In general births are done at home here in Holland but they are forbidden if there is any sign of risk. The fact that my baby wasn't growing made us worry about her birth weight.

I stopped working and just sat around eatting. She started to gain more but was still on the smaller side.

Her birth was AMAZING. It happend at home in just 4 hours and 2 pushes. We filmed the entire thing. She was just 46cm. However she did reach a normal weight of 3050 grams. With in the first week she had dropped so much that even the nurse was worried. (we get a nurse for about 8 days after giving birth to help out in the house and get used to the new baby i had one for 10 because of a dropped pelvis)

Every specialist we saw said the same thing, "she is just smaller, she is a little eatter and she is doing fine."

Okay, i thought, "Then it is just me being a worry wart". But around 6 months old she needed to start eatting real food. At every meal she wouldn't eat it. She would spit it back out or just throw up completely. This terrified me. Finally i would get breast milk in her and she would end up throwing it all back out because of a peice of bread, bananna, oatmeal, you name it and it would cause her to gag.

I went BACK to the doctor with my concerns and finally got a reference to the childrens doctor. With in this time of just a week she went from not eatting much, maybe 3 feedings a day to not Eatting! and ONLY SLEEPING.

I was sure that she was going to fall asleep and not wake up again.

Her development had stopped and she became extreemly weak and could only sleep. At this point we finally were admitted into the hospital. They did every test they could think of and got us speech therapy.

I never knew speech therapy could help so much but I am a believer now! In that week she was actually able to eat a peice of bread. and keep it all down! She still wasn't gainning weight and ended up getting a virus at the hospital and lost even more weight. So we had no choice but to start with the tube feeding.

With no drivers license I had no choice but to stay in the Hospital for 2 weeks with her. Finally we learned everything there is to know about tube feedings and were able to take her home.

I was allowed to pump milk and give that through the tube during the day as well. As much as it pained me to watch and do I was glad that she was finally able to feel FULL.

Yet she still wasn't eatting herself. Always feeling full from the machine and never doing anything for it scared me for her development but i kept with it hoping she could get some more weight.

Until she started throwing up again. With every little bit we gave her in the tube she would throw up everything that was in her stomic. I thought it better to just find a new doctor and start a new process.

Now 6 months further she is only 7 kilos at 15 months old. she is now 70 cm and her head is still just growing just fine.

We have found out that her body burns calories at a much higher rate than other children so she needs more to gain weight.

She still doesn't mind missing meals and often refuses the food we feed her.

She also has 4 different specialist working together to get us on the right path.

We joke around saying she might just fool us and become and chef later in life. My biggest worry is that we will Always fight about eatting and growing will Always be a problem for her. I want a happy life where she can fit in and find love. Hoping for some answers.